Month: October 2009

  • eek!tober 2009: stuff moving when it’s not supposed to move

    For Eek!tober, I’ve collected some random thingies of a YouTube nature that may cause thrills, terror, shivers, nightsweats, chilblains, hysteria, rickets, and/or the vapors. I’ll be presenting them throughout the week.

    There’s a scene in The Shining that first introduced me to the concept of ghosts that could do more than just “woooo00000” and wander through walls. Jack Nicholson’s trapped in a walk-in freezer, and the ghost guy unlocks the lock so Nicholson can escape and continue his rampage. Unlocks the lock! Suddenly, we’re in a whole other realm, where ghosts can open cans of whupass all on their own, and not just rattle chains and look pained.

    So, Poltergeist. By far, the scariest scene to me — past the dude ripping off his face, the evil clown doll, the swimming pool undead — was this one:

    [direct link]

    Damn you, TV People!

    Sixth Sense does this same thing in the kitchen scene. You look, then look away, then look back, and bam. I can’t find a clip of that but here’s someone cleverly recreating it. I wonder if he uses GHOSTS?!

    [direct link]

    I saw a shorter trailer for this on television (for Beyond the Door, a cheapie Exorcist ripoff) when I was small. It’s pretty full of intense-for-kids images, but the one thing that went to the terror center of my brain (and lived there for decades) was an extremely short bit (at the :29 mark):

    [direct link]

    That’s right — the dresser drawers opening by themselves. Fortunately, my dresser lived in a different room in my house; otherwise I’d have nailed those suckers shut. Watch for the bonus evil doll shot, too.

    Of course, good old YouTube is chock full of ridiculous “100% real poltergeist footage!!” I’ll post a search link here, but honestly? I was too scared to watch more than a couple of them.

    I need to cut this short, I’m afraid I’m going to anger the spirits in my own home, the ones that won’t do the dishes and forget to pay my VISA bill.

    Next post will be all fun and games. Happy halloween!

  • absence and presence

    Last night I had a dream that I was late for the reception for this show — the show in which my Junk Quilt is entered. In the dream, my mother appeared at my door, ready to take me to the event. She had my grandmother and aunt in tow.

    This is a little weird because my mother has been dead for almost seven years, my grandmother for about twenty-two. My aunt is still around, but in real life, wouldn’t be able to attend this show.

    This is also weird because my dreams of my mother, up until this point, have been extremely unsatisfying. She only appears in a vague cameo, never establishes eye contact, and doesn’t make a lot of sense. But this dream! She bustled around, trying to hurry me along, and seemed to be excited about our excursion.

    Which is spot on — if my mom were alive, she’s be so there, at this show, ready to cheer me on, sip the bad cider, and support her daughter.

    As I was getting ready (in the dream), I realized I was wearing a witch wig, which none of us could get out of my hair.

    Then I woke up, missing my mom, and realizing: I need a haircut.

    So I went and got a cut and color, spending money I don’t have, to attend an event that has taken on a curious weight — now that I feel the presence of my female relatives, I need to make them proud.

    So, I may not have had family at the show tonight, but I had some excellent friends there, most of whom had arrived by the time the Arts Council announced the winners of the art show.

    And I won first place.

    And the check was for the exact amount that I spent, with tip, for the cut and color I couldn’t afford.

    I’m happy and sad, alone and surrounded, little and big, closer and farther away, all at the same time. Oh, life!

    What? I won?

    So glad the Arts Council guy humored me by doing the cheesy handshake shot.

  • quick and dirty costume bonnet tutorial

    Costume bonnet tutorial

    Here’s a fairly quick and fairly easy tutorial for a bonnet that I whipped up today. If you are planning a pilgrim/pioneer/villager/amish costume, read on. The rest of you, tune out — then come back tomorrow when there will be less specific and more accessible Halloween fun.

    As part of a group costume, I’m going to be a “generic peasant from a generic time in history”, hence I need a “generic bonnet”:

    Costume bonnet tutorial
    I will divulge the details of this group costume after Halloween!

    Here’s what you need to make an costume bonnet for an adult:

    • A piece of cardboard, approximately 5″ x 16″ (note: wrap the cardboard around the top of your head to customize your fit. Some may want to cover their ears completely, others may want their ears partially free, like me)
    • Two pieces of low-loft cotton batting to cover both sizes of the cardboard (note: this was intended to cover up the cardboard and to add a bit of comfort. You could go without, I’m sure)
    • Spray-on adhesive (to adhere the batting, if wanted. You could also use double-sided tape or staples)
    • Four pieces of cotton fabric (I used unbleached muslin):
      • A piece that is double the width of your cardboard plus 1″, and 2″ longer than the cardboard’s length. For example, if your cardboard is 5″ x 16″, you want a piece of fabric 11″ x 18″.
      • One piece, 9″ x 25″
      • 2 thin strips about about 1.5″ x 16″ (for the bonnet ties; you can also use ribbon or other tie-like things)
    • A sewing machine (see “Before you start,” below)
    • Needle and thread (thread preferably same color as your fabric)
    • Scissors, chalk (or pencil), pins
    • Iron
    • A head of some kind; since I didn’t have another human in the house, I used a styrofoam wig head to hold the bonnet in place; I also tried on the bonnet on me throughout the making process to make sure things were going the right way.

    Before you start:

    • This project took me a little over 3 hours, including screwups and re-dos.
    • I will be telling you to sew through the batting-covered cardboard, as well as fabric. My machine did fine, but you might want to test yours.
    • You could certainly do a quicker-and-dirtier no-sew version of this bonnet, using tape and staples. if you want to go that route, comment here and I can help.

    Let the fun begin! First, give all your fabric a nice pressing.

    Cardboard time! A side from a 12-pack of Diet Grapefruit Soda works great as your piece of cardboard; just the right size (click any picture to enlarge):

    Costume bonnet tutorial

    Spray a side of the cardboard with adhesive, smooth a piece of batting over the surface, then trim to fit. Repeat on the other side.

    Costume bonnet tutorial

    Now,  you’re basically making a tube of fabric to fit your cardboard. Wrap your cotton around the cardboard; mark the joining points of the fabric. Sew where you marked. Turn the tube inside out, press.

    Costume bonnet tutorial
    [this is not a maxi pad]

    Slide the cardboard inside the fabric tube. If your tube is too tight, rip your stitches (or use a new piece of fabric) and try again. If the tube is too loose, roll a long edge down and run a stitch, as I did here:

    Costume bonnet tutorial

    Finish the short ends by folding the fabric’s raw edges down and in, like a package. Then sew.

    Costume bonnet tutorial

    I’m going to call this piece the bonnet band.

    Here’s where we make the bonnet ties. Either follow these instructions, or use ribbon. Fold each long strip in half, then half again, until you get about a 1/4″  of fabric. Press to hold the folds, then run a stitch on the long edge. Remember: nothing has to be perfect, especially if you’re a peasant!

    Finish the ends by tying a knot about 1″ from the end, or run a quick stitch at the end:

    Costume bonnet tutorial

    Sew the bonnet ties to your bonnet band. Make sure you sew them to the inside of the band, about 2″ from each end.

    Costume bonnet tutorial

    I sewed a rectangle on each tie, for strength. Here’s what the inside looks like:

    Costume bonnet tutorial

    And the outside. Quick and dirty, people!

    Costume bonnet tutorial

    Take your 9″ x 25″ fabric and cut a slight curve on one of the long side of the fabric. Exactitude is not necessary. Here’s the general idea:

    cut

    Finish all edges but the long, straight edge by rolling or folding the edges and sewing a seam:

    Costume bonnet tutorial

    On the straight, long side, iron in some pleats, as shown.

    Costume bonnet tutorial

    Adjust until your pleats until that side is the same width as your bonnet band. Then pin. You’re pinning on the inside (wrong side) of the bonnet band.

    Costume bonnet tutorial

    Sew it. I ran two stitches, myself, so that the pleats were secured close to the edge of the bonnet band. This is what you have so far:

    Costume bonnet tutorial

    You might want to attach your bonnet to a head of some kind at this point. This is where we’re going to gather the fabric to make the poofy back of the bonnet. If you prefer to attach some elastic instead, go for it. But here’s my quick and dirty way:

    Thread a needle and knot it so you have double thread — about 2 feet will do.

    Sew a wide stitch along the seam of the fabric you just attached to the bonnet band. Starting at one end of the bonnet band, sew stitches about an inch long.

    Costume bonnet tutorial

    As you sew, you can start tugging on the thread so that the fabric starts to gather together. See where we’re going with this?

    Costume bonnet tutorial

    After you sew the whole way around, back to the other side of the bonnet band, play with your thread length and gathers to find the look you like:

    Costume bonnet tutorial

    Here’s where you want to try the bonnet on the person who’s going to wear it, to adjust the gathers to fit their head.

    Once satisfied, tie off the thread and you’re done. The gathers will hide the thread pretty well.

    Here are some views of the completed bonnet:

    Costume bonnet tutorial Costume bonnet tutorial

    Enjoy! I hope this helps someone looking for some prairie action. At least, it will help me if I have to make another one, ever again.

    Costume bonnet tutorial

    Love from great-great-great-great-great-great-great gramma

    You can see a few more photos on my flickr photo set here.

  • eek!tober 2009: living dolls

    For Eek!tober, I’ve collected some random thingies of a YouTube nature that may cause thrills, terror, shivers, nightsweats, chilblains, hysteria, rickets, and/or the vapors. I’ll be presenting them throughout the week.

    This episode is fairly self-explanatory. You stupid dolls, coming to life and causing mayhem. I don’t like you.

    Magic. I had been pretty indifferent to ventriloquists as a youth, but just seeing this trailer handily changed things.

    [direct link]

    Talky Tina. This Twilight Zone episode caused me to sleep with the lights on for the first time ever — at 16. Here, the whole episode is condensed down to two handy minutes. Good luck, and yes, that’s Telly Savalas.

    [direct link]

    Trilogy of Terror. The one with the doll. I hadn’t seen this since this was the water cooler talk among my elementary school set. I’m supplying the link for part one — if you have the time,  you may want to watch the whole thing, as the sets, costumes, Miss Karen Black, and the doll itself are delicious, non-PC, 1970s treats.

    [direct link]

    Doll commercials. Meet Crissy, Velvet and Starla. They can’t tell you how pleased they are to eat meet you.

    [direct link]

    [direct link]

    Internet hoaxes that are so stupidly fake, but scare me a little bit anyway.

    [direct link]

    [direct link]

    As we know, this list is much longer. The clown doll in Poltergeist. Chucky. Dolls. My best friend Francine’s stuffed Pluto dog, with his awful big white eyes.

    Feel free to add your own. Hope you enjoyed your trip into the Uncanny Valley!

  • eek!tober 2009: repurposed horror

    Three years ago I celebrated the spooooky Halloween season by reminiscing about movies that scared me for traditional (and nontraditional) reasons.

    This year, I’ve collected some random thingies of a YouTube nature that may cause thrills, terror, shivers, nightsweats, chilblains, hysteria, rickets, and/or the vapors. I’ll be presenting them throughout the week.

    In this episode, let’s examine fear where there was not fear previously. Take, for example, a reimagining of Diff’rent Strokes:

    [direct link]

    And When Harry Met Sally…

    [direct link]

    And then, the other side of the same coin; reimagining a horror flick (like The Shining) as a romantic comedy:

    [direct link]

  • show off

    I made a big quilt out of advertising circulars and paper bags. It got accepted into a show in Ventura — I hope this early victory bodes well for the other shows in which I entered the Junk and Science Quilts.

    My friend Turquoise’s painting “Summerhouse” got in to the show, too. Come to the reception; we’ll be the two broads swilling wine in the corner.

    “Repurposed and Recycled – Art From a Disposable Society”
    Atrium Lobby Gallery, Hall of Administration
    Ventura County Government Center
    800 S. Victoria Avenue, Ventura

    Reception: Thursday, October 29, 2009 5:30 – 7:00pm
    Exhibition:
    Thursday, October 22 – Tuesday, December 1, 2009
    Viewing hours: Monday – Friday 8 am – 5 pm

    “Our disposable society discards immense amounts of goods and materials every day. This show celebrates the creative ways artists transform discards into works of art.”

    About the quilt, in Artist’s-Statement-ese:

    Junk Quilt

    Junk Quilt
    Becky Haycox
    2009
    Size: 53.5” x 53.5”
    Materials: Printed advertising circulars, paper bags, brass paper fasteners, thread, duct tape

    This piece is an attempt to reform castoff and unwanted materials into something traditional and familiar.

    The quilt, made from advertising circulars, is a cacophony of image and color — as junk mail can form a cacophony in one’s life. However, as one approaches the piece, an order to the chaos appears — the pieces have been “tamed” into familiarity using folk art quilting techniques, made with a desire to create something useful from the useless.

    I collected two week’s worth of advertising circulars that are routinely delivered to my mailbox — unfortunately, the quilt only uses a small portion of the amount of unwanted paper that enters my life on a regular basis.

    I pieced and assembled the “quilt” top using a sewing machine, and fastened the top to the poster board backing using brass paper fasteners — all traditional quilting techniques that have been adapted for the medium of paper.

    The quilt is finished using a binding made from the edges of reclaimed paper bags. The entire piece is reinforced using duct tape.

    Update: I won first place! Read the happy (and very slightly sad) story here.

  • what’s confusing you is just the nature of my game

    the doctor is in, real in!

    Cardiogirl invited me to be Guest Guru on her blog today, wherein I shall provide guidance for any and all pressing matters, questions, queries, and/or issues for her readership. Free free to ask the unaskable in the comments section!

    Using my singular skills as the daughter of a psychiatrist, a bullshit artist supreme, and an expert in the powers of guesstimation, I shall endeavor to solve All the Problems in the World. All whilst listening to “Wait Wait Don’t Tell Me” podcasts and toasting up some bread heels for lunch.

    If you’ve wandered over here from C-Girl Central, hi! Here are some hastily-assembled (and generally heretofore-unreleased) facts about yours truly (ie, me:)

    1. I stopped eating baby animals in 2009. I cheated twice, with lambs both times.
    2. Since I’ve been switching between many different computers and keyboards lately, I have been typing with my hands in the wrong position a lot. Amd ots drovomg ,e ficlomg crasu.
    3. I like people from Ohio. I consider them well-adjusted and often ask them for advice.
    4. The smell of roasting coffee always reminds me of my first sexual experience. Perhaps someday I will relate that story here.
    5. Often I feel throttled by having to keep my persona online cleaner than it really is.
    6. Sweet peas are my favorite flower.
    7. There are two movies that I’ve despised so much that the hatred flared, then carmelized, into a exquisite sensation that almost felt like love. Those movies: The Color Purple and Where the Wild Things Are.
    8. My personal economic crisis, as well as the worldwide one, has dosed me with a giant helping of humility, for which I am very grateful.
    9. I’ve been motherless for 6 years, fatherless for 3; being an orphan sucks hard and often.
    10. Pneumatic tubes, carrier pigeons, telegram boys, messages in bottles!

    There’s more data about the mad muddle of me here. Drink deeply. A little more. Good job!

    Ot os mpt [pomspm. O [rp,ose!

  • aftermath

    Part one of my account of the 1989 Loma Prieta earthquake can be found here

    The day after the earthquake, I got back to my flat to find my roommate Tracy, her boyfriend, and a couple friends starting the major task of sweeping up. There were giant X cracks on every wall that ran east to west. Everything fell off walls that ran north to south.

    I asked “where’s Angela?” and the room went silent. It turned out that Angela, our third roommate, was in the hospital. At this point, we heard it was a car accident.

    It wasn’t until the next day that we found out about the collapsed Cypress Street section of the Nimitz freeway — and that Angela had been on it. As the day progressed, the news got worse. Her car was completely pancaked. She broke her back and had a massive head injury. She was extremely lucky to be alive, and it would be months of recuperation in her home town before she healed. There are some other amazing details to her story, but Angela is still around (alive and well) and would not appreciate me invading her privacy too much, I am sure.

    We went to see her in the East Bay, a couple days after it all happened. I cried while we were under the Bay on BART, trying not to imagine another aftershock while we were 100+ feet under water. I cried again in the hospital room, seeing Angela’s bloodstained clothes that had been cut off her.

    The aftermath becomes murky again. The weeks of family, cleanup, fear, boredom. More aftershocks, calls from newspapers, strained relationships. I came back to work a few days later to find my coworker silently erasing the dry erase board (on which we had snarkily drawn out the World Series Death Toll, hours before the real death toll started) in the classroom whose walls were now spidered with ever-growing cracks.

    That part of downtown was a total mess, built on landfill. The nearby on-ramps (to the Embarcadero freeway) were permanently closed. Condemned buildings everywhere; the eeriest thing was peering through the windows of the closed-down restaurant next door, sugar and ketchup and silverware on every table, frozen in time. It was like that for more than a year.

    It took our landlord months to get around to patching the walls in our apartment. It took me a couple years to feel comfortable under an overpass. I can still recognize, when driving, the patched part of the collapsed upper deck portion of the Bay Bridge (soon to be gone in the bridge retrofit).

    And I can say with confidence that I’ll never not feel terror at every single earth tremor that comes my way.

    Related hamblinks:

  • the shakes

    It’s the 20th anniversary of the Loma Prieta earthquake today. I’m thinking hard about it. I’m grateful to my friends who were my friends then and who are my friends now. We’ve been filling in the details of that crazy night together. Here’s my POV.

    I was working downtown at an art school. That day, we were goofing around and put a World Series Death Toll chart on the dry erase board in the classroom. The Giants and A’s were in the middle of the Bay Bridge Series and my fellow teachers and I felt sure that Bay Areans would not be able to behave themselves and some kind of disaster would go down. Har, har.

    I came home around 4:45, and discovered a strange cat in my apartment. She had come through a slightly open window and was just sitting in my roommate’s bedroom, meowing incessantly. Thanks, cat — sorry I didn’t realize you were warning us. The little girl from upstairs appeared at my door, crying — the cat, improbably named Fluffy, was hers.

    I started changing into workout clothes and got on the phone to reserve a spot in a 5:30 aerobics class at Cole Valley Fitness. That’s when the shaking started.

    I had a brief, comical moment of staring at the phone, wondering how the handset triggered that, until my bedroom window broke right next to me and I lurched to a doorway.

    You know the sound that the recycling truck makes when it empties a dumpster full of bottles? That’s the massive breaking sound I remember from the quake. Pictures down, walls cracked.

    I remember gripping onto a doorknob (I thought I had been standing in a doorway, but really I was standing in the hallway, under a huge glass lighting fixture), feeling annoyed and terrified — I wanted to go downstairs and outside but I knew I wasn’t supposed to. But what if the apartment collapsed? Was the apartment going to collapse?

    Then it stopped.

    Meanwhile, 370 miles to the south, my mom looked up to see the television fritz out in the middle of the World Series warmup. At the same time, my stepdad yelled up from his boat — he could see the waves from the earthquake in the harbor. Uh oh, she thought. She had two kids and a newborn grandson in San Francisco.

    I went outside. The drag queens from the bar a couple doors down were milling around on the sidewalk. Drag queens, at 5pm on a Tuesday? Am I remembering that right? I thought I was calm until I realized my jeans were completely undone. I went back upstairs.

    My roommate Tracy got home. We had yet to grasp the enormity of what happened.

    We took Polaroids of each other, posing dramatically slumped amongst the wreckage. I still cringe with guilt about that.

    As we realized the power was out and as it started getting dark, Tracy fled to her boyfriend’s. I fled across the street to Moya and Rebecca’s.

    Things become a little vague here. Aftershocks. The corner store gouging us for beer, snacks and batteries. Some tears. At some point, Lisa showed up, stranded on this side of the bay. We all took turns with the headphones, listening to the radio. Helicopters flew outside, as did the rumors. San Jose was levelled. Thousands killed on the collapsed Golden Gate Bridge. The Embarcadero on fire.

    I went to my boyfriend’s, a few blocks away. The only thing that happened to his place was that a can of cooking grease fell off their stove. I went to bed, wondering what the hell just happened.

    The aftermath was much, much worse. More tomorrow.

  • some interesting people i’ve met briefly at parties

    party

    One of the “Ours” kids from Yours, Mine and Ours, that mega-blended family that spawned a movie with Lucille Ball

    A lady who, at the time, was the voice of the Hidden Valley Ranch commercials

    A guy who had had his kidney replaced two weeks before I met him

    Henry Kissinger’s kids, who I refused to play with because they were younger than me and were, by my words, “creepy”

    A guy who had been kidnapped by his father. Mindblowing to hear a first hand account of hotel room hopping, false names, dyed hair. He was taken at around age 8 and returned to his mother 2 or 3 years later.

    A guy that had no cartilage in his nose, so when you poked it, it would shift around like a soft, deflated rubber ball

    David Frost, with whom I had an awesome conversation about pie

    A guy who turned out to be the son of my parent’s closest friends on the opposite coast in the 1960s. Later, many pictures surfaced of us as babies together.

    A lady that reached into her purse and pulled out an Oscar

    A son of a member of a famous rock band, who happily told hair-raising stories of his father’s debauched sexual behavior

    A guy name Mike, who thought he could attract the ladies by showing off his gun

    Mr. McFeely!

    speedy delivery!