Month: January 2016

  • kooks

    There have been eloquent words and music spoken and written and played in light of the recent passing of David Bowie. I’ll direct you to some of them.

    His passing will forever be woven into this time period right now — a new and exciting year for me, the first real rain in So Cal for years, another anniversary of my mother’s death, my starting a new job, my (hopefully new, hopefully forever) phase of getting serious about self-forgiveness.

    Even though I felt — and feel — utterly horrible about his death, I am able to zoom out a bit and see how the great cycle of life/death/inbetween continues to roll along; that I can co-exist with the shitty feelings of loss, together with happy and hopeful feelings of change. Bowie being Bowie, it was easy to imagine his soul as a blazing, glitter-sparked ball of energy, being returned to the great creative beating heart of the universe.

    I was as much of a theater nerd as I was a music nerd in high school. These worlds collided when David Bowie stepped into the role of The Elephant Man on Broadway in the very early 80s. No question my stepsister (who showed me the way to 1970s Bowie on vinyl) and I would be there, see the show, wait (in vain) for hours outside the stage door. It was a perfect performance and such a great period for the man — Scary Monsters and the start of the music video revolution and for video art in general. It all looks quaint now but it was mindblowing then. All before MTV.

    Then in college — my core group and I listened to Bowie and Velvet Underground and Iggy Pop all the time (all the time! forever linking Lou Reed and Bowie in my own creative beating heart). Hunky Dory (though it was created years before) brings me right back to those days. Oh, those days!

    Soaking in an almost all-Bowie soundtrack for more than a week (and continuing to do so) is the best thing to happen to my ears in a long time. I might never go back.

    Here’s more articulation of the soul who is so hard to articulate:

    • From my friend Jill: “I think every one of us thought Bowie was our own. We all had private relationships with this person we had never met. For a great many of us, he was that freak who made it OK not to fit in.” Read more
    • My friend Tristy’s radio tribute from Spilling Rubies
    • From Nile Rodgers: “His legacy is going to be massive because he taught us how to mix theatre, dance, mime, all sorts of things, with music. They weren’t just songs. David Bowie made artistic statements and he made holistic statements with those songs. Read more
    • From Matthew Trammell in the New Yorker (about Bowie’s video art): “David Bowie’s androgynous appearance, his interstellar motifs, and his mind-bending visuals set standards that an unsuspecting public didn’t notice were being set. He pulled audiences across genres toward him, at a time when music was pushed out to targeted demographics in stratified categories that now seem antiquated.” Read more
    • Jon Pareles in the New York Times (“Iggy Pop on David Bowie: ‘He Resurrected Me’”): Read more
    • Ann Powers, “Reflections of a Bowie Girl”: Read more
  • these lang synes feel auld

    Happy new year! I now celebrate the end of the holidays. This was the first year I had the guts to basically turn my back on all traditions, family, events, etc. Not that I didn’t take time off, and I even received and gave a few gifts and socialized here and there, but it was minimal. I hope to regain some of the spirit next year but I don’t have to think about that for so many delicious months.

    I’m not a total scroogehole. Here are some things that have been good.

    New Yorker subscription from my sister Ann! I feel like I have crossed over some kind of significant threshold, but am unclear on how things will change from here on out. I was warned that this mag may attempt to derail my ongoing book reading attempts, since the NY is so relatively bite sized. We shall see.

    My pals Evany and Jill blogged every day in December. Jill has posted sporadically since the blogging heydays, and Evany went radio silent when her son was born, 6 years ago. And now they’re back!! It’s like ghosts of your favorite people jumped back into their living selves, all ready to be your favorite people again. So satisfying, and it’s one of the reasons I’m writing today — E. has vowed to post at least every other week for the next year, and I wanted to show my solidarno?? by throwing something here. New years, new intentions, et freaking cetera.

    I was cat sitting for some friends in the Bay Area, which was 100% satisfactory — both the situation and the cats. I took good care of Pete and Nina, and they in turn created a mutual body warmth heating system for the surprisingly cold (cold! as in in the 30s!) nights.

    Then I got a surprise visit from the house-owning friend’s relative, and they brought with them a small, energetic pug and my heart was lost forever. This pug’s name was Lil Bean, and was a warm, wiggly loaf of big goofy love. The cats and Bean interactions were hilarious. Before I become some sort of animal anecdote cliche, I’ll stop here.

    My laptop died. It’s not mine to die, anyway, it belongs to work. So, after some coaxing by friends who understand my tightwaddishness well, I bought myself a brand new Macbook. The unboxing and preparing was 100% porny. Or, as my friend J and I joked, Fwapple. Hahahaha!

    Tonight, the first evening of the new year, was shockingly lovely at the beach that I love. My withered little heart started acknowledging that I might be part of something bigger, which is a big breakthrough in refinding me, serenity, and intention. It was THAT GOOD of a sunset!

    sunset so sunset

    swiftly through the years

    better than the real thing

    I literally paused my guided meditation app so I could take these awful iPhone 5 shots. A more annoying modern sentence was never typed.