house hunty part 6: the tears edition

I’m buying a home! I will be posting my progress here from time to time. Part one is herePart two is here. Part three is here. Part four is here. Part five is here

Tears! Frustrated, tired, put-upon tears! The ones I let out on Monday were prompted by getting a load of this week in my calendar:

A glimpse into the first week of September 2015

It doesn’t look that bad, but let me tell you, those green bombs are lethal. Thank goodness purple (my work stuff) is unusually light, because I can’t even pretend to be working a job right now. Why is there not “Escrow Leave?”

The red is the Festival, coming this weekend, which I am co-organizing — and it is a very oh so much lot of work. Oh, and I need to help Jared clean. Not to mention a Quilt Guild Board meeting. Who’s on the Quilt Board and has tears running down it? This face!

I know there will be more tears, and more after that. My realtor, when he texted me with the news my offer had been accepted, included this: “SHIT IS GETTING REAL!”

The thing that has been hardest to deal with (apart from the bigger, angst-filled “Am I doing the right thing? Is everyone doing their best by me?” one-two punch) is the amazing demands put on me, demands that have a Very Urgent Timeline. My loan officer contacts me by phone and email in these surges — the inbox or voicemail fills up and that means a round of must-need-now scanning, signing, delivering, explaining, remembering, calculating. Not to mention sending rapidly-depleting savings towards paying things of which I only have a vague understanding.

The amount of paperwork I was warned about, but this feeling of being controlled by a frantic, bureaucratic robot remotely is really stressing me out. The festival controls me whenever the bank ‘bot is done with me for the minute. Ventura Improv Company and Unnamed Bank, my two overlords.

From best friend Molly: “SHITE! I had forgotten about the endless paperwork and dour scrutinization of bank accounts.” Well said.

Oh, not to mention I had to file my taxes this week (yes I filed an extension. please.) This system is so screwy. Income only counts as income when it benefits the government (tax filing), but sure doesn’t count towards your home loan qualification! And that bit of extra income sure lets the government know you don’t need that health care subsidy! Yup, I had to PAY BACK most of my health care premium subsidies, thanks to a small amount of $ that was left to me last year.

Budgets are balanced on the backs of the poor and I have been reminded repeatedly not to forget this as I jump through so many hoops for the “privilege” of borrowing a six figure sum.

I think I phased from teary into angry. I’m so tired. So tired!