creak, creeeeeak!

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Creak, Creeeeeak! That’s the sound of the last two Hambox Advent Windows, a-opening for you! I’m hitting the road, tomorrow at dawn, and I’m not sure if this land of “New Mexico” with its “snow” has heard of internet yet–so I’m not taking any chances.

[PS: the links are fixed for 12/23 — you have got to hear some of those blue christmas songs]

Hambox Advent for 12/24 — no, uh-uh, put down that Fatty Snack Treat, it’s time to look ahead to 2009! There’s only 7 days to send your New Year’s cards, make your resolutions, and get your shit together (with the help of the awesomely practical Lisa Levy.)

Hambox Advent for 12/25 — Let’s just say we’re gonna take it to a whole ‘nother level, no lie. I’ve been saving the most delicious morsels (many of them from you darlings) for Christmas binging. OMG, I’m serious, it’s nuts. Perhaps you will actually reanimate that feeling of sugar shock, of wildly tearing wrapping paper in your footie pajamas, whilst mom prepares the rum balls.

Skip to the Calendar!

Added awesomeness — just for those who managed to read this far. I’ve been waiting to tell this story, the story that actually redeemed my horrible day in court yesterday. After my terrible, stupid moment in front of the judge, I sat back down in the cheap seats to wait for my paperwork. A young man was called to the podium. As he approached, the judge asked why he was there:

Young Man: Your Honor, I was supposed to report to jail on December 31 [for a whopping traffic/license/insurance offense], but I need to wait.

Judge: Why do you need to defer your date?

Young Man: Because, I, um, am having a medical procedure.

The Rest of Us in the Courtroom: {we all look up and listen, suddenly interested}

Judge: You have got to either give me a note from a doctor, or give me more details.

Young Man: Here? Now?

Judge {getting POed}: Here and now.

Young Man: I’m having. {pause} ‘m having. {pause} I’m having … a hemorrhoid operation.

The Rest of Us in the Courtroom: GASP!

Yeah, tacky, I know. But I’ll tell you, it brightened my day. It was a like a {pause} Christmas Miracle! I would also like to say, after our collective gasp, we, the Rest of Us in the Courtroom, did our very best to muffle our laughter, so as not to embarrass anyone any further. And the judge let the young man have an extra four weeks to recuperate.

God Bless Us, Every One.

2 Comments

  1. cardiogirl on December 24, 2008 at 1:33 am

    The court room story was totally worth the wait! Oh yeah, a little holiday miracle is good for all of us.



  2. Cloudy on December 28, 2008 at 9:03 am

    Lisa should write a self-help book; I would totally buy it. I loved the Finale of the 25th, too! So much fun! Excellent job with the whole calendar, Queen Becky. And yes, the Hemorroids were ALMOST worth $450.