i used to laugh
My father suffered from dementia for a number of years before he died. My fantastic and long-suffering stepmother was his primary caregiver right until the end.
From what I could gather, dad was a pretty easygoing demented guy, and was able to keep a general schedule and do house chores for a majority of the years he was ill.
However, every once in a while he would mess up, as is typical of this situation. I remember one time I was visiting the two of them, and my stepmom happened to notice that my father, whose job it was to empty the dishwasher, had indeed put the dishes away — but had put them away before they were washed.
My stepmom flew into an absolute rage, and I just could not understand. I mean, it’s annoying, but what, really is the big deal? I thought she had overreacted and I was secretly amused.
Flashforward. Here I am with my own demented guy, my Elderly Relative, who regularly screws up while trying to be helpful. Usually, I have a pretty long fuse about it all. Okay, so he threw away his pants, or the dryer lint trap. Okay, so he overwaters the plants. Whatever.
Until yesterday, when he opened some mail of mine. They were photo prints I ordered for work, and for some reason he perceived them as junk and ripped them all up.
And, yes, I flew into a rage. Suddenly, I completely empathize with my stepmom and all other caregivers in the universe. There’s just gonna be something one day that’s gonna push you over the edge.
And that’s okay! I went into hasty Rage Containment Mode, Elderly Relative and I worked it all out, and I just have to spend another $4.47 to get more prints.
This caregiving is tricky, tricky stuff!