more hot phone action

Emergency Phone

I was about 8 or 9 when I first was on the receiving end of a crank call:

Me: Hello?

Him: Are you in favor of gay liberation?

Me: What?

Him: Because I’m gay!

{click}

Not terribly witty, that caller. Then again, at that point, I was a veteran crank call-maker myself, of the very non-witty “is your refrigerator running?” style. The above call is only remarkable because that poor early-70s closeted Phoenician dialer seemed to set my destiny early (as a Friend and Booster to the Gay); and that it prompted the following conversation between my 18(ish)-year-old brother Paul and me. It took me years to understand and appreciate his very studied nonchalance:

Me: Paul, what is “gay?”

Paul {after some slightly-panicked silence}: Okay. You know when a boy and girl kiss and hug and stuff?

Me: Yes …

Paul: When two boys or two girls do it, then they are called gay.

Me: Oh.

{runs off to play with Grow-Hair Barbie)

Flash forward to the mid-2000s when I received a call from something like the “UCSF Psychological Research Center,” or some other title that should have raised a red flag right there. The man on the phone was gathering “demographic research” for a “psychological study.” I answered a few standard age/gender/profession questions, and then:

Him: How do you describe your sexuality?

Me: Um. I’m straight.

Him: Are you sure?

Me: What?

Him: Well, have you engaged in any experimentation, you know, like with another woman —

Me {finally getting the picture}: I’m going to hang up now …

Him: — you know, kissing, fondling —

{CLICK}

Some other telephone posts — or poles, I suppose:

6 Comments

  1. regina on October 7, 2008 at 4:36 pm

    Ack! For reals?! What a riot! I haven’t heard of anyone getting a prank call in a very long time. 🙂



  2. Hannah on October 8, 2008 at 4:36 am

    My brother used to try out the Bart Simpson prack calls on my Dad to see his reaction! It’s not funny when your Dad has caller ID and so knew who the little boy voice on the end of the phone was!



  3. cloudy on October 8, 2008 at 11:09 am

    I was the Queen of prank calls and also stalker calls. Too bad caller I.D. ruined everything.



  4. lisa on October 11, 2008 at 12:08 pm

    Too bad caller id has taken the joy out of childhood crank calling.



  5. andrew on October 11, 2008 at 10:20 pm

    If you dial *67 before you dial the telephone number of the crankee, your number will show up on the crankee’s caller-id as “unknown”. I don’t have caller id, and still receive many crank calls at home. As I find myself in teach-mode for the moment, I’d like to add one other thing as we find ourselves coming into Southern California’s windy season. The warm winds that blow a mad gust through our part of the world are NOT Santa Anas, they are Santanas. Devil Winds. I’m not very fond of Santa Ana, and so please, would everyone please stop calling them Santa Anas… They are Santanas



  6. hambox on October 13, 2008 at 6:44 am

    Mandrew, see below. From what I gather, the origin of the wind name is cloudy (from LA Almanac:)

    What are the Santana or Santa Ana Winds?

    The Santana Winds or Santa Ana Winds, most common in the late summer and early fall, begin with dry air moving in from the interior of the U.S. towards Southern California. As this air flows down into the Los Angeles Basin through the low gaps in the mountains (notably Cajon Pass on the east end of the San Gabriel Mountains and Soledad Pass south of Palmdale), it compresses and warms about five degrees Fahrenheit for every 1,000 feet that it descends. Though these winds are much cooler high in the mountains, they can become hot and dry and assume gale force when descending into the Los Angeles Basin. They are often the source of air turbulence for aircraft approaching Los Angeles International Airport.

    The original spelling of the of name of the winds is unclear, not to mention the origin. Although the winds have been commonly called Santa Ana Winds or Santa Anas, many argue that the original name is Santana Winds or Santanas. Both versions of the name have been used. The name Santana Winds is said to be traced to Spanish California when the winds were called Devil Winds due to their heat. The reference book Los Angeles A to Z (by Leonard & Dale Pitt), credits the Santa Ana Canyon in Orange County as the origin of the name Santa Ana Winds, thereby arguing for the term Santa Anas. This might be supported by early accounts which attributed the Santa Ana riverbed running through the canyon as the source of the winds. Another account placed the origin of Santa Ana Winds with an Associated Press correspondent stationed in Santa Ana who mistakenly began using Santa Ana Winds instead of Santana Winds in a 1901 dispatch.

    Special credit for the research assistance of Librarian Nancy Smith of the Metropolitan Cooperative Library System Reference Center, Los Angeles Public Library.

    – – –

    Not that I care that much about the origins. I just know that they making me horribly miserable.