May is Sweeps Month, a month in which Neilsen Media Research aggressively scrutinizes peoples’ television viewing habits across the nation. Therefore, networks ramp up the titilation, tabloid-esque and exploitative factors in their programming in an effort to attract as many viewers as possible.
You know what I’m talking about. Like the radio ad I heard yesterday for a news show. “Is sushi a treat from the sea or a killer? Don’t miss Sushi: The Raw Truth!!”
Why do the fearmongers programmers get to have all the fun crafting catchy headlines and injecting cliffhanging excitement into their lame shows?
I hereby declare May as my own personal sweeps month.
- It’s a “Grizzly” Trip! Will Becky’s camping trip this weekend bear all?
- Manicure Watch: Day 7
- Is it a grimace or a grin? Find out on May 6, when Becky’s birthday will be a rollercoaster of agin’ and ragin’!
- Coming up: treading the path of financial RUIN!
- The real truth behind overanalyzing every little thing — this girl is nuts for being nuts!
Bye, everyone. I’ll off to drink, cry, and knife fight with bears in Sequoia National Park for my birthday!
Photo: Television, by flickruser videocrab. Thanks for letting me use it!
Comments
4 responses to “sweeps month”
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, GIRL!!!
I hope you’re getting
– a total carb-shock today with endless amounts of white cake
– heaps of mentos and other candy with strange flavors
– bombarded with pretty pretty cupcakes
– showered in kisses and hugs
– sunshine making sparks in your hair
– winning millions upon millions on a lottery ticket
– Greek hansom copy guys galloping to you from every corner on their white horses – offering to buy you a flat in SF
– streams and fountains of champagne and wine
– cute little robots designed for house-keeping and back scratching invading your house
– tons of cool retro gifts
– icebergs of Italian gelato icecream
– countless amounts of Norwegian strawberries (they’re the best – red through and through!)
– Ticket to come to Norway tomorrow!
AND
A cherry on the top!
If you don’t get all this, the world is UNFAIR and STUPID – but still a nice place to be! Happy birthday!!!!
BOAH AHAHA! O.k. so I definitely DIDN’T or DON’T wish for the sun to make SPARKS your hair!!!! That should say SPARKLES!!! LOL!
“BEAR ATTACK! GIRL Attacks BEAR in National Park.”
Now THAT’S a birthday party.
Happy 05.06.07, Becky!
But Ã…sta, “SPARKS in… hair” makes for a better sweeps month headline! 🙂
(Talk about fried hair.)