the quiet storm, soft and warm
I recently got to see two of my nearest and dearest, Alison and Danny. Not only did they bring good vibes good news my way (more on that later) but also they directed my attention to something they knew that I would love. And I do.
Behold: Time Life’s Classic Soft Rock infomercial.
Soft-rock heroes Air Supply conduct awkward banter, interact with the standard-issue infomercial lady co-host and sit in a McMansion living room, often behind a weirdly enormous pitcher of what I presume is lemonade. Mellow lemonade. All the while they are presenting (what to me are) the very dreckiest specks of the dreck of music from the 1970s/80s. The uber-laidback music itself is only mildly tortuous (and I do admit to liking some of it!) compared to the banter between the hosts and the clips of the performers.
Here’s a sample of delightful repartee between the Air Suppliers:
Graham Russell: “You know, some people like a fine wine. Others like a nice cold beer.”
Russell Hitchcock: “But in 1979, everyone seemed to be reaching for a … pina colada.“
[Smirk, then cue the Rupert Holmes song Escape (The PiƱa Colada Song)]
If you watch the infomercial (and I urge that you do,) I think I like the way Rupert leaps around the best.
However, there’s also the hair. Oh, the hair.
No, I wanna kiss you all over!
There are also testimonials from “real” soft rock fans with names like Vickory Hexter and Athena Demos. Now you know what to name your next babies. You’re welcome.
Act now! You can “try out” 10 CDs for only 10 bucks, whatever that means!
Thank god that modern mediocrity has not destroyed really, really good mediocrity.
- Part one: youtube.com/watch?v=NvK1SyUVae8
- Part two: youtube.com/watch?v=rfqRPBCehac
- Part three: youtube.com/watch?v=JvKlAg3FfFE
PS. Please stop singing Ventura Highway to me. Venturans don’t like it.
PS2. The title of this post is the motto of that “Light rock, less talk” radio station. Doesn’t remind me of poo, at all!
Well, after seeing Air Supply just this year at the Canyon Club….I can say that they can really kinda rock…..a little bit…..
They seem like two cool dudes from Australia. Like Olivia Newton-John’s second cousins or something.
I think I would enjoy this infomercial only if I were watching with friends. Friends like me.
Gino. Vanelli’s. Hair. Awesome!
And I have to say I actually want to buy this collection. But I heard “American Pie” waaay too much in college. Can’t stand it.
Todd Rundgren’s chaps were fantastic, by the way.
It’s probably because I have been recently re-immersed in the world of newborns, but your title took me to the same place it took you. Except our storms are less quiet than you would think.
I can’t stop my sense of awe at the hair. And the clothes (what were those butterfly-wing-like chaps?). Most of this music probably was written and performed during the days after a coke binge