trueblue friend

I just found out today a dear family friend died several months ago — back in May, a day after my birthday. I must have missed the obit.

His name was Archie. He was my father Jim’s lifelong friend; they met as small children, at the start of the Great Depression, not too far from where I live now. My dad’s dad was chauffeur to Archie’s grandmother.

In later years, Archie and his wife and my mom and dad were rock-solid friends. You can read a little about their friendship here. They’re all gone now and my heart cracks a little at the thought. The end of a huge chapter.

When my father died in 2006, Archie sent my brothers and sisters and me a packet of papers — copies of various letters from and to Dad, as well as a simply amazing document titled “Remembering Jim.” In it, Archie offers incredible, startling, and hilarious revelations about Dad’s younger years.

It’s a fabulous read — it’s a deeply visual account of a time that doesn’t exist anymore, when two little boys could explore nature, conspire and be (in Archie’s words) “really god-awful pests”:

[Our early friendship] was a wonderful, magical period for Jim and me, being granted so much freedom to unleash our unbridled energy and creativity, unfettered by almost all of the constraints typically mandated by one’s family and broader society in general. … Today, I look back to this time as perhaps the most important time, and the most enjoyable period of my life.

In a letter Dad wrote to Archie in 1998, he marvels at the fact they still could bring out the kid in each other. When I knew him, Dad was a funny guy, and could be silly, but always had a certain stoic control on things. That’s why finding this snippet, where dad is positively giddy, is just delicious. The exclamation points are his:

Oh, gosh, Archie. Here we are in our seventies with so many vivid memories and things to think about!!!!!!!!!!

Wow. Happy and free. What a gift.

May we all be blessed with an association with someone that brings out the best in us. Someone whose outlook on life makes us pause, and appreciate, and wonder. Someone who makes us look great. Someone who is, and always will be, a true blue friend.

Dad at age 13
My dad at age 13.

3 Comments

  1. cardiogirl on January 8, 2010 at 7:22 am

    Man, that’s a wonderful tribute to Archie and your dad. I love that fact that they were pen pals for so long and they felt like kids while writing each other.

    I also love your dad’s multiple exclamation points. Awesome.



  2. LJ on January 8, 2010 at 11:59 am

    What a sweet entry, and rather timely too (for me that is). Yesterday – January 7th, 2010 marked the 10th anniversary of my dad’s passing. I’m sorry you found out so late about Archie’s passing, but I think you may very well have given him a fitting re-tribute here. kinda-sorta.



  3. cloudy on January 8, 2010 at 12:53 pm

    I love that photo of your Dad & that you got a little insight into him via Archie. I bet they are hanging out giggling like children right now.