dear jumper (so not the post you’re expecting from the title)
Dear 1995 Gap jumper dress, size M, in dark brown recycled wool,
Come back. I didn’t mean to give you to a thrift store. Just because your lining was a little ripped, I should not have been so hasty.
You were nice, and fit well, and so classic. And you did not show any wear except for that little tear. My tailor Manuel could’ve fixed you right up! Good as new!
Again, I was in a haze of purging my clothes. What was I thinking?
There is nothing that comes close to replacing you. Believe me, I’m trying to move on. Fall is coming, so I must.
Ebay’s just cruel sometimes.
And then, suddenly. I troll Ebay one last time for the pictures of the pale imitations, the imposter dresses, so that I can get across to my readers the horrible circumstances that I am in.
I torture myself one more time, searching for “Wool Jumper Dress Gap” and. And.
There you are.
So, now:
Dear Ebay buyers,
Back off, this one’s mine.
Love, Becky “too much time on the internet” Hambox