You’ve noticed this, haven’t you? eBay sellers (especially fabric sellers) often mention in their descriptions that their items come from a smoke-free environment. I found that puzzling, until now.

Morgan from the Brick House scored a Danish Modern wooden candle holder from eBay, and discovered an added feature upon delivery:

It must have come from a smokers house. When I opened the box it smelled like a dead Las Vegas cocktail waitress’s mouth.

Ewww. The mind boggles at how much smoking it takes to permeate wood to that level.

It’s funny, looking at the cool, clean lines of  Mid-Century modern furniture and accessories. I imagine that if that aesthetic had a scent, it would be lemon oil and butter cookies, or something like that. But of course, the smell of that entire era is 100% tobacco. There’s a reason that those gorgeous ceramic ashtrays from that time are huge — they lived on every low coffee table, every elegant credenza — and they overflowed with butts. All the time.

Along with authentic accents and and plot consistency, the thing that Mad Men is missing is the ugly side of the smoking — the blue haze, the persistent coughing, the yellow fingers. My parents’ heyday was squarely (so to speak) in that time, and my lungs and myself are here to testify that I was not delivered from a smoke-free home.