Who gives a rat’s ass about all these posts about nothing?! It’s time for shoes news!

I stopped by Target (much against my anti-holiday — that is, better — judgment) to pick up Q-tips and a birthday card. But then, vision clouded: shoes, must try on shoes. Do you know how that is?

There were a few pairs that could’ve jauntily stepped their way into my heart and wardrobe, but say hello to the albatross that is my budget. But I couldn’t walk away empty handed — behold the $9.98 wedgity deal. What the hell, I’ll just not buy gum for a few months:

Then. When I got home. My boots from Zappos were at my front door, tapping their stylish toes, waiting for my return:

Spending more than 20 bucks for boots means comfort! I lurrf them. A bit roomy in the calf, which may or may not be a problem. I’ll have to spend a bit more time in them, preening, to make sure:

Now, here’s a expense-justification trick from the Danny D school of finance:

• Sum of cost of both pairs of shoes: $110 + $10 = $120. Divided by two (# of pairs), each pair really only cost $60 each.
• I’ll wear each of these pairs at once twice a week, yes? (2 pairs @ once/week)
• And I’ll wear them for at least 2 years, yes? (52 weeks x 2 pairs)
• So, 104 wearings/year x 2 years = 208 wearings
• 208 wears divided by $120 total cost = approx. $1.73
• $1.73 divided by 2 (number of pairs) = approx. 87¢

Eighty-seven cents per wearing! You can afford that, can’t you?

Danny D = evil genius!

Now that I have my most precious baby boots home, I can obsess about some orange mary janes!