It’s been a bracing few days of chaos. Fortunately my head has been screwed on a little tighter than the default lately, and I’m managing just fine.

Let’s get that out of the way before I begin, shall we? I’m fine!

The Thursday-at-11:20am-Becky was touchingly oblivious to the events about to unfold. As she drove along the freeway, her thoughts were something like “what shall i have for lunch? i need to send those emails! i can’t wait to go to LA tonight! i love bunnies!”

That was just before a speeding, sleepy lady did not make a good judgment which caused her to smash into me then smash into me some more, which made me smash into a guardrail. My car, that is. The only thing smashed about me is a bruised wrist and my sense of security about the world at large.

If you must, pictures are here. It doesn’t look too bad, does it? I should feel very lucky. But I didn’t, at least for awhile.

I definitely did not feel lucky yesterday, when my car-lessness and inability to staff a work event caused a chain-reaction bureaucratic freakout, which resulted in a morning of frantic texting and calling and emailing and begging and promising.

Then in the afternoon there were some last-minute major changes to some carefully-laid plans that sent me scrambling again, calling in all favors in an attempt to (again) cover the fact that I’m without a car in Southern California, which is so painfully stupidly hard. The trauma I sustained by the accident is handily overshadowed by the sheer inconvenience of it all.

So, before you ask, or offer unsolicited advice (I’m full up with unsolicited advice, thanks so much): the other party admitted fault; the insurance process will start tomorrow; I have alerted my own insurance company; the cops were alerted and information taken; I do not need to go get X-rays; and yes, we’re all glad I’m okay.

Today, I really mean that: I’m glad I’m okay. There are a couple people in my life who are decidedly not okay, and they need me to be okay, and suddenly, I’m full of gratitude of what I have and what’s at stake. Things could be much much, so much worse.

A close call can be uncomfortable, because the curtain is lifted on the way life really seems to work — barely-controlled chaos completely ruled by chance. I feel like a big cosmic die was rolled — and I got to go home with a bruise on my wrist instead of being a smear on the 101.

[I do have a God-based spiritual system but I don’t talk about it here. I do welcome any and all prayers, even those for my sure-to-be-doomed soul]

I know the curtain will go back down and complacency will return, for better or for worse. But I’d like to hang on to this awareness that I’m here and I’m okay and that’s a freaking brilliant thing.

[Maybe save your prayers for me and pass them onto those friends of mine in dire situations. Thanks!]