I have not been feeling well for the past couple days. The head congestion has been messing with my mind, fragmenting it even more than usual. Today, I sat through a two-part, six-hour meeting. The conference room was small and the number of humans was large, so we had to sit in chairs that ran around the perimeter of the room in a vague oval shape, 12-Step-Meeting style. Hi, my name is Becky and I am trying to concentrate on holding my legs together.

Some things that occupied my mind during some of the more, um, drone-y moments:

• I carefully imagined what every single meeting attendee looked like naked. Yes, even you over there. I’m an artist — therefore it’s beautiful, not exploitative.
• I visualized a thought balloon above each person’s head and tried to divine their deepest, darkest secret. That got creepy, so I abandoned that.
• I tried to float above my body, like I did last night in bed — but this time without the Manhattan and then the cough syrup.
• I mentally databased all the shoes in the room, then grouped them into various categories: by color, then by heel type, then by level of their desirability to me. The faves: either a beige ankle boot with a cute covered button or a surprisingly slutty red sandal with 4″ heel (which she wore with a conservative gray suit — bodacious!)
• I tuned into my internal soundtrack. For the first half of the meeting, oftentimes it was a fast, funky bassline with congas.. a little like the intro to Groove is in the Heart, but maybe with a bigger “wall of sound” sound? The second half of the meeting was actually really interesting, so I didn’t check what was playing. I imagine it was something whistly, like the Bridge on the River Kwai theme, or the whistled chorus in Centerfold.

Ha. Haaaaaah — this was supposed to be a post about shopping! Dude, I’m so out of it.

Photo: In the conference room. Waiting for a 12:00 meeting, originally uploaded by slworking2. Thanks for letting me use it!