aka crack, originally uploaded by hambox

There is panic afoot in these here halls in which I toil. Professor F’s daughter has put the word out that her Girl Scout troop is sold out of cookies. Suddenly, my office mate’s box of Thin Mints takes on a kelly green aura of extra ultra desirability.

Some memories of being a proud member of the Girl Scouts of America:

• Although the 1970s Brownie ensemble was a vintage piece of dorkitude — acorn-shaped beanie that required at least six bobby pins to stay put, brown socks with garters, a lil tie — I loved my uniform. Even after my best friend F peed on it (therefore, me) when we were horsing around on the swings. [Wish I could say that was a one-time only occurrence, but F was a pee-er when agitated.]
• [I loved being in uniform until the day when I was forced to wear bloomers in high school gym class. That we had to embroider our names on. In the 1980s. Bloomers.]
• As I remember, there were two Girl Scout troops in Phoenix, and only one was allowed to sell cookies. My Troop 4061, Mrs. Burton’s brood, was SOL. Imagine replaying this scene, over and over, on the streets of suburban Phoenix:
  Girl scout rings bell.
  Grownup opens door. A look of joy spreads across her face. Oh, hooray! Cookies!
  Girl scout: No ma’am. Would you like to buy a calendar?
• My dad sharpened my lil girl scout knife in preparation for a week at camp. The second night, I cut a chunk out of my thumb while whittling, and had to go home. I was thrilled, as I got out of piano lessons for several blissful weeks.
• I really wanted to become a Cadette, because at the time, they got to wear blue uniforms and pumps and the age range was 11-17. Seventeen! I was in complete awe of high school girls.

But (as it happens) one day, being a Scout ceased to be cool, and it was over. My mom hung on to my be-badged sashes for a long time. I wish I still had them. Part of me is glad the modern Scout gets to wear cargo pants and girly tees, but the experience of wearing sock garters and a lil tie is a powerful one.

You didn’t ask, but I shall post a picture of me as a Brownie on this here post. You will see.