This was written on May 4.

I’m sitting in a coffee shop, trying to complete two work projects that are due at the exact time when “(Just Like) Startin Over” starts on the too-loud speakers.

Just the two chimes that start the song sends my stomach down to my knees. This song, along with “Imagine“, were the two songs that were in seeming constant rotation after John Lennon was killed. That was an experience I still can’t write about, the second worst thing that had happened in my young life up to that point, right after my parents’ crumbled marriage.

I’m feeling similarly blue today. Not so absolutely grief stricken as those horrible days in December 1980, but still blue. Adam Yauch and the Beasties were not as towering figures in my aural life as the Beatles, but they made a mark, as musicians and humanitarians, as someone who grew and improved in front of our eyes. For years! For years, the comfy and weird old Beastie Boys were there. And yes, MCA was the cute one.

For all its flaws, Licensed to Ill really started helping me take myself way less seriously, music wise. And then Paul’s Boutique, bam! — a great record in a banner year. Then a few years later, at a Seder in San Francisco, my friend Dave asked us, so have you heard this? just before turning around and putting on “Pass the Mic” … and, well, that was a fine and thrilling moment. And then those UPS outfits. And the video for “Sabotage”! It goes on and on, a delightful twirling ribbon of weirdness and rock solid sound.

As for the other side, I have to steal Tristy‘s words here. She says it best.

 I love the way the Beastie Boys changed and grew over the last 30+ years, from some semi-misogynistic brats to more spiritual, lady-loving, beautiful freaks, while always making excellent music. I also really appreciate how open and authentic Adam was in sharing his journey with the cancer that finally took his life. He was so real in talking about it and that really moved me deeply.

Amen.