March 27, 1999, approx. 11:30 PM: My nephew, Sam H, has just completed roasting a marshmallow on a barbeque skewer. Holding the red-hot skewer with his left hand, he throws something to his friend. He manages to impale his right index finger on the tine of the skewer. It is so hot it goes like butter right through his finger. The wound is instantly cauterized. The skewer has become one with his finger. MMMM-mmm good eating!!

These are the real X-rays.

The top tine of the skewer is going through Sam’s index finger. The rest of the skewer has been cut off by the doctors.

My nephew swears that this was an act of non-“enhanced” stupidity.

This is a real Polaroid of the impaled fingie. I missed this whole drama; I was performing at improv that night. Sorry to have missed it, yessir. Sam is fine, by the way. Still numb, but the finger’s fine. Ha ha.