I recently told Jeana that, from here on out, I was going to consider a “Chester Drawers” sighting as a lucky omen.

Trying to sell my unwanted furniture was another not-worth-it ordeal, but I am fascinated by what goes what doesn’t. My deeply discounted Mid-Century bedroom set (slowly dying in storage) had not one nibble. The couches, devoid of stain or wear or ugliness, did not go. Not to mention train set, sports car, lounge, kitchen stuff.

Nor my painted campaign bedroom set! I did have two nibbles, one from friends who really wanted it but got evicted from their home the day they were to purchase it, and a seemingly nice lady from the east county.

Nice Lady: Oh! This is just what I’m looking for! My father is moving in with us and he needs a bedroom set exactly like this. Can you give me a discount?

Me: Um, maybe?

Nice Lady (Staring intently at the set): Yes, I can repaint it the right color easily. I can do that, you know.

Nice Lady (Staring silently for an amount of time that causes discomfort): Can you leave me with it for a little while?

Since the bedroom is empty otherwise, I leave her with it while I listen from the office.

She ooooooooopens and cloooooooooses each drawer of the dresser over and over again. Over and over again. Oooooooooopen. Stare intently. Cloooooooooose.

To not paint her completely as a nut case, she was trying to gauge if her elderly father could have the strength to work the drawers. It was the stretched-out time-taffy feeling to the whole thing that gave it living nightmare quality.

Weird Lady: Can you sell me just the dresser and not the nightstands?

Me (Wanting out of this vacuum): Yes. YES.

Tiresome Lady: Can you leave me with it a bit more?

Oooooopen, cloooooooose. Oooooooooooooooopen, cloooooooooooooooooooose.

Crazy Lady (Bursting out of the bedroom and literally trotting around the house): Well, maybe! What else do you have? Oh, how about this dresser, I want this dresser!

Me: No, no, not for sale.

Weird, Tiresome, Crazy Lady: But it’s the one I want!

Successful Craigslistings:

• Old guy sent his hot son and truck to pick up my cute but unsteady desk. Sold for the same price I bought it for on SF Craigslist eleven years ago!
• Young dad came to check out the daybed for his daughter. Laughingly bought it after I hissed “buy it! buy it!” under my breath and knocking five bucks off.
• Got rid of two free toilets lickety split!
• Big Goth Lady and Lad bought my two innocent, unsuspecting wooden stools not for sitting but for some kind of “super scary Halloween display.” Okay.

And that’s it. A handful of simoleans that ended up being the exact amount for the hauler I had to hire to get rid of the last of the garage junk on the day escrow closed.