1. I’m on a first-name basis with my exterminator.
2. I have loud, nightly reminders that my neighbor across the way has a new girlfriend.
3. I get nervous if I neglect my Sims (and it’s Sims Freeplay, the horrible second rate game)
4. I have a Groupon for a toenail fungus laser treatment.
5. I am a gum lover who has given up gum.
6. That Fact about That Friend which is super weird and distracting and makes me want to go back in time, just before he revealed said fact, and shush the hell out of him.
7. I know what it’s like to get Shingles twice!

This post and the last post were designed make you love me despite everything!