absence and presence
Last night I had a dream that I was late for the reception for this show — the show in which my Junk Quilt is entered. In the dream, my mother appeared at my door, ready to take me to the event. She had my grandmother and aunt in tow.
This is a little weird because my mother has been dead for almost seven years, my grandmother for about twenty-two. My aunt is still around, but in real life, wouldn’t be able to attend this show.
This is also weird because my dreams of my mother, up until this point, have been extremely unsatisfying. She only appears in a vague cameo, never establishes eye contact, and doesn’t make a lot of sense. But this dream! She bustled around, trying to hurry me along, and seemed to be excited about our excursion.
Which is spot on — if my mom were alive, she’s be so there, at this show, ready to cheer me on, sip the bad cider, and support her daughter.
As I was getting ready (in the dream), I realized I was wearing a witch wig, which none of us could get out of my hair.
Then I woke up, missing my mom, and realizing: I need a haircut.
So I went and got a cut and color, spending money I don’t have, to attend an event that has taken on a curious weight — now that I feel the presence of my female relatives, I need to make them proud.
So, I may not have had family at the show tonight, but I had some excellent friends there, most of whom had arrived by the time the Arts Council announced the winners of the art show.
And I won first place.
And the check was for the exact amount that I spent, with tip, for the cut and color I couldn’t afford.
I’m happy and sad, alone and surrounded, little and big, closer and farther away, all at the same time. Oh, life!
So glad the Arts Council guy humored me by doing the cheesy handshake shot.
I’m so veryveryvery proud of you, & honored to be the pal of such a creative soul.
I wish I could have been there!!!
Perhaps the most grand reward of all was being hugged by your beloved spirits. I truly believe that was them visiting you last night, spurring you on. Supernaturamagical.
xxxooo
YAY!!!!
Congratulations! And yes, oh life! So full of conflicting emotions that make us…well, full. You look great in a cheesy handshake pose–cute hair cut!
You are a goddess! Congratulations — it’;s about time you started getting some recognition!
Congratulations, Becky! and wow, what a cool dream connection! (did that guy in the pic do any grabass on you? or vice versa?)
– John
Becky,first of all: Congratulations! I’ve been watching you grow and develope for three years(?)- and I’m so very proud of you. You’re an artist in mind and doing, and it was about f** time someone saw and recognized what your friends and fans have seen for a long time!!!! I’m so happy for you (and what an excellent prize :-D).
When it comes to your dream and thoughts – you have no idea how this touched me. Sunday, it’s a year since my mother died, and the last weeks have been very strange. Hugs!
Congratulations, Becky! I am so happy to be able to follow what you are doing. It, you, are wonderful!
What a beautiful story.
This is so incredible. I actually gasped when I read, “And I won first place.”
Congratulations on a well-earned honor.
Ooohhh, how good it must feel to have your mom in your dream with full participation and love. I LOVE IT. You are healing and whole. Also, I laughed out loud when I read that you realized you were in a witch wig that you couldn’t get out of your hair. Great details. Congrats on having your female relatives and Mom back. And, based on your fulfilling yourself. I hear health and humor here.
Congrats Becky! What a great story. I love the quilt- it is no surprise that you’re being recognized for your talent.
Wow, Becky, it’s kind of hard to know which is the dream. How satisfying to see and experience your mother (though I know it’s sad when you realize it’s a dream) and then win a well-deserved first place for your fantastic quilt. Mwah!
Precious Becky, CONGRATULATIONS! You so deserve first prize in everything you do. Your mind and soul are so beautiful and crafty and unique and AWESOME!
And a note on the dream – the Tibetans (and many other cultures) say that it takes 7 years for a soul to fully integrate into what comes after life, which frees them up to visit us in our dreams in a complete way. So Mama is right on time!
And how beautiful to have the blessings of all the crafty lady ancestors, right before such a big night. I LOVE YOU!
OMG! This is great…..CONGRATULATIONS!
Now off to the village to slay the monster!!!!
Oh Wow! Congratulations! You deserve the accolades.
On the dream front – you were obviously excited about going and wished your family could be there on the journey with you. It makes it all the more special because your mom was different in this dream than normal.
I too dreamt about my mom this week – only it wasn’t my real mom and she played a nasty prank on me. What do you think that means.
Becky – U is fast! I only just left my comment.
Becky – you’re the most fantastic-est! I’m sure you needed this after all that technological crap you’ve been wading through… and you certainly deserved it! Obviously the women in your family agreed. I’m sorry I couldn’t be there (for the same reason I can never make it to workshops) but I’m glad you had such a good showing of friends and supporters.
P.S. Your hair looks great! It’s fitting that the Arts Council funded it!
Yaaaaaaaayyyyyy!!!! Love!!!!!!!!!! Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyy!!!!!!
I wish I read this post later in the day. I am fragile this morning & being able to relate so deeply made me burst into tears at work. I just scared the UPS delivery guy.
I call that a “visitation dream”. Congrats on your awesome win, congrats! Your mommy is so proud & knows of your successes. Not sure why life has to be rife with love AND loss all the damn time. The hair was worth every penny!