Posts by hamblog
we’ve always had our suspicions
A person or persons took the opportunity of Thanksgiving vacation and ran, ran, ran with it. S/he tagged a whole lot of campus with a whole lot of red spray paint. Most of the scribbling was allusions to plot and imagery from Thomas Pynchon’s  The Crying of Lot 49, a completely nutty postmodern novel. Oh, those English Lit majors;…
Read Morejingly jangly jangly jangle
If I’m going to get into the holiday spirit this year (confidential to Violet: I’m ready and waiting with my ornaments, sister), there are a few events to which I might have to insist on dragging some suckers friends. Nothing shrieks CHRISTMAS! like CHRISTMAS!-shrieking spectacle! “It’s Christmas, Snoopy!” On Ice! Dec. 1 & 2 in…
Read Morehambox dream-lab conducts joke experiment in sociological context
I am in a white lab coat in my test lab, behind a two-way mirror. My first subjects, a group of Chinese people, enter the room. I turn on the loudspeaker. Becky the Scientist: A Viking walks into a bar. He puts a vacuum cleaner on the counter. What does the bartender say? Group of…
Read Moregrave-y
I confess to some weepiness at the start of my Thanksgiving day. Not depressed, grim, grey-cloud waah-waaahing with no endpoint in sight — more like a brief squall of hot, healthy, let-it-out tears, tears that I have shed the past four Thanksgivings. Simply put, I miss things. Our family used to have a wonderful beach…
Read Morei hustle for my muscle
I will have to recap my delightful Thanksgiving shenanigans at another time, as memories of the boozing and the fooding and the latenighting re-queases my quease gland. Can you believe I was not an english major? Instead, I will relate to you my virtuous morning (in case it looks like I’m bragging, keep in mind…
Read Morecheers
From late 2005 to late 2006, I had some murky times. It was a dark cavalcade of Fucking Growth Experiences: health problems, job problems, a breakup, the death of my last parent, a car accident, and chronic financial bullshit. Yoinks! It wasn’t all shit stew, of course: I made some wonderful new friends, I created…
Read Morememe for me
NYC International Pickle Day Pickles, originally uploaded by flickruser Harris Graber. Thanks for letting me use it! As predicted on the first day of NaBlo, I will now commence with the meme-mining. I’m going to play by the rules this time and actually tag five fellow bloggers who, of course, will receive chain-letter-style bad luck…
Read MoreHeap high the board with plenteous cheer
An email, in its entirety, from my old roommate Scott: Just wanted to say Happy Thanksgiving! Eat like a pig!!! Ooooh yeah. I staggered a little, walking to my apartment tonight, so distracted was I by the little animated roasted turkeys circling my skull like a greasy crown of deliciousness. I have managed to wangle…
Read Morecomprehension of the conundrum of Danish contentment
Drinking for Denmark, originally uploaded by flickruser viralbus. Thanks for letting me use it! My fatherland, Denmark, has been on my mind. Since yesterday’s Danish breakfast, at least. As a typical American Mutt, I glom, half-seriously, onto the bloodline that runs purest in my veins: the land of Dogme 95, Victor Borge, and a whole…
Read Morebeep beep mm beep beep
On my way to some mischief to the north last night, I stop at a convenience store for refreshments. I bring my Gatorade to the front counter employee named Kevin. Kevin: Will that be all? Becky: Do you have any Mentos? Kevin: No. Becky: Gasp! Really? Kevin: Do you want to kill me? Becky: Do…
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