Listen to this peppy Elvis Costello tune while you read this blog post!

Last Saturday’s party didn’t end with nonsensical apocalypse talk as I intimate here; there was a lot of food and a lot of booze and a lot of entertainment. It was a 50th birthday party, and (as I’m sure to realize ad nauseum for the next few years) one must pull out all the stops when one turns 50.

There were a lot of kids at the party, who were supposed to stay upstairs with the sitter but who would occasionally descend in an intimidating Lord of the Flies-like pack, decimating the cookie table and climbing the trees outside in the raging storm. Weirdos.

A drag queen arrived at 9pm. She’s quite an infamous drag queen, known for her extremely, um, vivid performances. In preparation for the show, the host proceeded to kick all trespassing kids back upstairs, jerking his thumb at them and snarling “beat it, kid, and don’t come back down,” which worked surprisingly well — who knew that acting like a cartoonish 30s gangster would be so effective on the youth of today?

So, then the show. The only moment I feel comfortable reporting here is the “Proud Mary” finale segment, where the drag queen lipsynced to Tina Turner while people were invited to come up and be backup dancers, and to follow some simple but frenetic choreography. One woman brought up a 6-month old baby, whom she twirled and tossed around in time with the music. The baby absolutely loved it — she was one of those babies that could not get enough stimulus — earlier, she was passed through the party like a chubby-cheeked bong, smiling all the while. Seeing her up there, giggling as she was swooped higher and higher, the tiniest Ikette ever, lent an extra surreal dose to the already fully surreal proceedings. At the end of the number, on the queen’s cue, several people detonated small confetti cannons.

Only a few moments passed before one of the kids crept downstairs and located her mom.

Kid: Mommy, what happened here?
Mom: There was, uh, some confetti. And some singing.
Kid: What did they sing about?
Mom: Hey! Want to watch a DVD upstairs?

[start watching at 2:30 for the blitzkrieg; direct link]

And if you’re curious about the lovely she-male, you can have at her on YouTube.