It was only two(ish) sad hours before we got back to where we started — my “favorite” little burg of Los Angeles. We ate our last beige meal (at IHOP — jeez, Barstow, for being a hub for Route 66 history, you could have a few more kitschy eating places.) We reluctantly got into our jalopy, one last time.

after 9 days in the just-thawed southwest

Molly rented a Dodge Caliber for this trip. We both agreed that it was a pretty good ride — there were some irritating design flaws (lots of impossible-to-reach crevices for maps and other important papers to fall into; no way to seal off specific air vents — my arms were always cold; not the best pickup in the world) but it chugged along just fine.

Bleah. As soon as we got to San Bernadino County the freeways and traffic went back to the stupid, reckless, crowded, speedy SoCal status quo.

Why, WHY do people pass on the right down here?

Oh, but who can listen to my inner curmudgeon at this moment? Spring has sproinged since we were gone! Lupines blooming, air smelling like orange blossoms, gloriosity everywhere.

After retrieving my car and saying goodbye to the divine Molly, who caught an earlier flight, I cranked the cowboy tunes and headed back home, a huge grin on my face.

Some last impressions from and about the road.

Total miles traveled: 2578. That’s all the way from LA to Pittsburgh, PA with miles to spare!

It was nice to see that lots of motels still used keys and not key cards.

At almost every restaurant, we were asked right away if we wanted separate checks. Is that a courtesy that California restaurants used to have? It was so nice, even though we declined.

Spring makes people happy.

Here’s our route, more or less. We drew a Big Dipper with our car!

View interactive map

Last photo. When I got home, I saw, with alarm, that my neighborhood has been taken over by pirates — the Jolly Roger was flying high. Time for another adventure already?!

If you’re planning a road trip and want to Learn the Things Not to Do, I’ll be posting a little guide in the next few days.

Hey, you: yes you! Thanks so much for reading.

• See all the pics on my flickr photostream