The protected “devil’s cake” posts are daily accounts of my fitness and exercise regime that I began more than 6 months ago. This journal seems to be a useful element in the process, tedious as it is. I don’t know if I’ve had any major revelations — just that weight loss is hard, I have a really complicated relationship with body image and food, and I am ambivalent about success. I sense that I am not alone in feeling this way (duh! says about just about every woman in the world, all at once).

As I’ve decreased the amount of space my body takes up, I have observed the kind, bizarre and backhanded comments and compliments that have been directed towards me. Good job — you’re too pretty to be fat. One of my favorites — and it was from a personal trainer, no less.

Next. At our comedy show on Saturday, one of the improvisers asked the audience to shout out phrases that are considered compliments. One woman suggested “You look so thin!”, to which a group of women shouted “NO! Not thin — ‘healthy’!” Whereupon yet another woman muttered to me: “Oh come on and face it, honey: thin, that’s what you want to hear.”

Next. I’m cringingly amused by the many and varied ways Men Seeking Women work the “no fat chicks” caveat into their personal ads. Two adorable recent craigslist posts (sic):

• I only require you have an intelligent mellow persoanlity along with your good looks
• not into fatties sorry no offense but must keep up with active lifestyle

Next. The invincible Violet from sparkspark recently bemoaned the same shit I’m bemoaning:

I am very tired of the idea that women are attractive only if they are as physically insignificant as possible.

Update: Dude, the malaise is catching! Today’s post from Snacks is proof.

Last. I have no pithy wrapup to all this, as there is so much more to say … but those words, strangely enough, are suspended in a large, jiggly aspic — garnished with patterns of small marshmallows, chopped chives, and rosettes crafted from radishes — delicate, perfect, and pink.

Photo: Fuzz, originally uploaded by Mr. Negative. Thanks for letting me use it!