As I am idly lookie-looing for a credenza and a couch, I subscribe to RSS feeds for these two webpages: “Furniture for Sale” for Santa Barbara and Ventura’s craigslists.

Most of the time: ugh and feh. I’m continually amazed at how many ugly couches are released into the world.

Tonight, I came across a post that caught my eye. The title: “Most comfortable chair in the history of all chairs”.

Cute. Intriguing. Even though I don’t need a chair, I clicked the link. Greeting me were several photos of a seemingly-ordinary-looking ecru easy chair and ottoman, sitting in a driveway. I read on, skeptical, when suddenly, my breath was taken away:

This chair will cradle you like your mother did when you were a new-born and the dearest thing in her heart. It will rock you to sleep when you are tired and comfort you when you most need love. I have never, in all my life, know of or heard of a chair such as this. Truely a once in a lifetime opportunity to owns this magical piece.

That is some spectacular hyperbole. I felt the sting of tears before I shook myself and stared again at the pictures. Suddenly, the $200 price tag seemed like mere chump-change when I could have my ass cradled in pure magic. Every television show I numbly half-watch while sitting in this chair will become sparkling cotton candy for the eyes. Every piece of junk mail carelessly tossed on the ottoman will transform into a gleaming pile of golden doubloons. Teeth will be capped. Toes manicured. Soul repaired. Life: complete.

Thank you, chair! Oh, thank you!