I think I want to buy a home. I don’t know if I can buy a home, so I’m finding out everything I can about it. I will be post my progress here from time to time. Part one is here. Part two is here. Part three is here.

Now I start to see the true evil of this process, this home hunt/purchase process. There are many, many plates that must be set spinning at exactly the right time, though those plates are of vastly differing sizes and spinning abilities. Some of those plates are not yours. If they even are plates.

And you feel like everyone can do it better than you can.

Right now, things are going to start happening very fast, or things are going to be on hold for a good long while. Basically, some money for a down payment is coming soon — “when?” and “is it enough?” are two burning questions that I am trying to answer. Some money is coming later, which will definitely be enough for a down payment but “later” could mean a variety of things (2013? 2014?? 2015???)

And in the middle of it I’m re-starting my home hunt. I predict I will A. fall in love with something and B. it will be on the high end of what I want to spend.

Plop all these factors on top of anxiety around the question “CAN I AFFORD THIS?” and I’m getting a taste of what kind of mental and physical (ie geographical) upheaval I’m going to experience for .. how long? And is that plate over there starting to wobble?

Some of the plates, in a bulleted list:

• Hey (family member who is in charge of this): any idea of when this check is coming my way? Sorry to ask for the millionth time but I’m not really trusting anything or anyone right now! And are we sure it’s going to be $that?
• Finance guy gave me pre-approval for a loan, but I’m eyeing those calculated monthly payments and getting cold sweats. Can I afford it?
• I could live THERE near beach and hideously high HOAs.
• I could live THERE in a more convenient town, a town I love more. A town full of bland condos.
• I could live THERE in the trafficky, scary city and get a great deal!
• Can I afford any of this?
• Why am I doing this now, when I have a great rental and no absolute need to upheave for a while?
• Oh, yeah, the rapidly rising housing prices. Yeah.

Update: I have seen a few places. No love yet, but perhaps my spending ability will keep it in the “eh, it’ll do” level of love. I don’t know. I’m tired.