how not to make a dress

how not to make a dress

  1. Impulsively commit a precious weekend day and a large handful of money towards a class, pattern and a large pile of (admittedly awesome) fabric
  2. Make sure to have insomnia the night before class
  3. Bring your lunch to eat later. Neglect to put your name on the takeout box and put box in kitchen
  4. Assume that your size means your size in this pattern and avoid taking actual measurements of your body
  5. Piece and sew the main part of the dress; try it on to find it is too small then feel fat
  6. Let your blood sugar get nice and low before going to the kitchen to find that your unmarked lunch was inadvertently thrown away
  7. Feel hangry tears forming
  8. Grab at the snacks others hastily assemble for you
  9. Rip a lot of seams
  10. Feel time running out; sew a new seam, but sew the wrong pieces together
  11. Run out of time before even starting the sleeves, collar, cuffs, hems
  12. Trudge home with your large and sad pile of scraps

… et voila! How not to make a dress!

[I had fun anyway, weirdly. Just some circumstances as well as limited brain function on my part. And lovely teacher is committed to making sure we’ll learn what we need to learn to actually finish this gosh darned garment. Gosh darned ass-accommodating besleeved garment.]

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