jumped through hoop and got dog treat; also: fashion!
I bought a bizarre-looking tunic (not pictured above) from the thrift store the other night. There were two identical ones, one labeled a size 3, one a 4. They both looked enormous so I was confused by the sizing. I went for the 4. This is a chain thrift store with a policy of not having dressing rooms.
So, I tried it on at home and this tunic thing was E-normous. I took it back to the store with the receipt. I located the other, slightly smaller tunic and grabbed it.
I had a choice at the checkout. On my left was a nice-looking young lady who seemed to live cleanly and have a semblance of intelligence.
On my left was a young, skinny, hyperactive male, the sort that my town seems to breed. He was loudly complaining about how it was his lunchtime and Janice wasn’t there to take over.
Obvious choice, no? Ah, but nice-looking young lady was helping someone at the jewelry counter and our heroine (me) was just too anxious to exchange one tunic for one slightly-less-sacklike tunic.
So I go up to the dude.
Me: Hi, I bought this last night; here’s my receipt. All the tags are still one. Can I please exchange it for this one?
Him: [tersely and a little threateningly] No.
Me: Oh. But they’re identical and both never worn, they’re just different —
Him. No!
Me: Are you sure? Is there someone I can …
Him: Sorry.
At this point, I sigh, and try to determine whether I can leave with grace, or if I feel I must say something mean and petty.
Me: This is so stupid.
Him: [without a hint of humor] Just kidding, of course you can exchange it.
Me: Ha ha ha.
Hostility disguised as humor, my favorite flavor.
The jury’s still out on this tunic. At angles, there’s a cool Issey Miyake circa 1984 vibe about it; at other angles, it’s just the dumbest, hardest-won garment I own.
Thanks to the Nueve Musas blog (which is now Garmento), from which I appropriated the image. I’m glad to have stumbled upon these blogs; Garmento describes itself thusly:
Garmento is an online blog and soon-to-be printed fanzine with the intention of engaging fashion’s visual, cultural, and historical currency as a relevant discourse. While contemporary fashion has given way to the hype of a derelict popular culture, as the apparel industry gives way to wanton consumerism, and as our own identities give way to a fluid yet artificial collagulation of 21st century dress, Garmento ponders, beyond it all, what else there could be to clothes.
Oof, with smartypants with smart pants like that out there in the world, I think that I shall be able to rock this weird tunic thing.