nuptial nudnickery
Guess what??
Oh, I kid. I’m sure this joke went over on my blog readers as well as it did on my Facebook friends. I thought it was hilarious at the moment.
ANYways, this is my boyfriend Lamar, aka The Boyfriend, The Boyf, The Manfriend. He’s pleased to meet you. I was his arm candy for a wedding this weekend; I knew no one there but he. I love going to events in which I have no emotional investment — it’s like living in a 3D, real-time anecdote. I could witness the the interpersonal relationships and significant glances with scot-free glee.
My detachment also enabled me to have the chutzpah to elbow the kids out of the way and help myself to four cupcakes, four! I was also fueled by the contents of the Coors Lite keg, and the DJ spinning Strutter! I was a little sad to leave the proceedings before the promised drunken fistfights happened, but maybe I’m not.
Lots of old friends of Lamar’s were there. Most of them speak the most remarkable patois, a mixture of surferspeak with a touch of spanglish specific to the town in which they grew up; it’s nothing you’ve ever heard. Everyone had nicknames, too. In over my head I was. But in the best way.