Too much clicking on Facebook revealed that I am now two degrees away from D., the boy that was the object of my obsessive, heated affections for four solid years in high school. Just like that, from myth to regular old mister in a few tiny bleep-bloops of the internet.

The grownup me doesn’t think it would be a bad idea to add him as a friend and to reconnect, but the 16-year-old me is still smarting from the cold indifference with which he treated my slavish adoration, and refuses to come any closer. I’ll keep you posted as to what I’ll do if he tries to friend me. Good god. Facebook has become high school, all over again.

In related news, there’s a meme running rampant on Facebook right now: “25 True Things About Me”, in which one provides 25 random whatevers about oneself (“I like lemons! And Nixon! I hate posers! And terrycloth!”) Many friends have jumped aboard, including someone I used to canoodle with in a serious fashion, quite some time ago. I hated reading his list, let’s leave it at that. Sometimes the most innocent action (like reading someone’s dumb little internet list) can churn up some sentiment sediment, let me tell you.

Let’s end with a happy story of an ex. This guy wasn’t in my life very long, but we had a glorious, candy-colored, John Hughesian cherry-berry punch of a time while it lasted. It was my first infatuation with a really nice guy. Let’s call him Phil.

I had met him at a party and got instantly googly-eyed. Our mutual friend gave him my stats and coordinates but I had yet to hear from him and was giving up hope. I was working retail at a clothing store on Haight with my friend Dee (not her real name), who had just been broken up with. Two sad girls.

It was Valentine’s Day, in true movie set-up fashion, and Dee and I were at the front desk, showing our disapproval with love by cutting out paper hearts then ripping them up. Then. Dee nudged me as I looked up to see Phil walking through the door. I swear I could almost see the fog effects and hear Heaven 17 playing as he walked right up to me and asked me out. I said yes.

On our first date, he brought me wilted flowers and we could barely eat our dinner. We drove to Stow Lake and he asked if he could kiss me. I said yes, yes, yes.

{glittery, shimmering fadeout}