what’s confusing you is just the nature of my game
Cardiogirl invited me to be Guest Guru on her blog today, wherein I shall provide guidance for any and all pressing matters, questions, queries, and/or issues for her readership. Free free to ask the unaskable in the comments section!
Using my singular skills as the daughter of a psychiatrist, a bullshit artist supreme, and an expert in the powers of guesstimation, I shall endeavor to solve All the Problems in the World. All whilst listening to “Wait Wait Don’t Tell Me” podcasts and toasting up some bread heels for lunch.
If you’ve wandered over here from C-Girl Central, hi! Here are some hastily-assembled (and generally heretofore-unreleased) facts about yours truly (ie, me:)
- I stopped eating baby animals in 2009. I cheated twice, with lambs both times.
- Since I’ve been switching between many different computers and keyboards lately, I have been typing with my hands in the wrong position a lot. Amd ots drovomg ,e ficlomg crasu.
- I like people from Ohio. I consider them well-adjusted and often ask them for advice.
- The smell of roasting coffee always reminds me of my first sexual experience. Perhaps someday I will relate that story here.
- Often I feel throttled by having to keep my persona online cleaner than it really is.
- Sweet peas are my favorite flower.
- There are two movies that I’ve despised so much that the hatred flared, then carmelized, into a exquisite sensation that almost felt like love. Those movies: The Color Purple and Where the Wild Things Are.
- My personal economic crisis, as well as the worldwide one, has dosed me with a giant helping of humility, for which I am very grateful.
- I’ve been motherless for 6 years, fatherless for 3; being an orphan sucks hard and often.
- Pneumatic tubes, carrier pigeons, telegram boys, messages in bottles!
There’s more data about the mad muddle of me here. Drink deeply. A little more. Good job!
Ot os mpt [pomspm. O [rp,ose!
I am so excited I really cannot contain myself.
And you truly had me at folks from Ohio. This is the first time I’ve actually wished I lived in Ohio. I’m in Detroit which just a hop, jump and a skip from Toledo. Does that count?
No, we both know that doesn’t count. Thanks for playing; let the games begin!
I’m looking forward to meeting you at CG’s blog (and seeing what you have to say about my question). And #4 has me all freaked out. There are certain things I wouldn’t want to think about every single morning, and my first experience with sex is one of them. It’s best left in nearly-forgotten history. I hope you’re not a coffee drinker.
If you think The Color Purple movie was bad, you should try reading the book. At least the movie had some sort of cohesive plot that made sense, even if it is too awful to watch.
I’ve been worried about that Wild Things movie. It doesn’t look a lot like the book, which I have always liked. It looks like they took a cute kids’ book about imagination and a hyperactive little boy & turned it into a story about the modern day tragedy of broken families. Blech.
Where have you been all my blog reading years? Your hilarical! I must return, and often. And if I say anything inappropriate – blame Cardio. It’s all her fault.
P.S. I’ve been fatherless for 10 years, and motherless for 3 – and still – at 47 and married – being an orphan sucks and is hard. I don’t think that will ever change.
Dayum, CG readers are COOL readers!
Thank you for hating Color Purple, Wendy. Oftentimes I feel like I’m all alone in that one. And definitely the shit is stirring up over my take on Wild Things. Already I have one friend that is seriously reevaluating our friendship over this. Booo!
LJ: Orphans unite. Do you ever hear a friend complaining about their mom and you just want to shake them? Appreciate what and who you got, people.
Hey Becky! Love your site. I’m going to try to swing by more often assuming I have to go on anymore wild manatee chases (long story…lol). Plus, I’m a native Ohioan and am excited that I finally know someone would thinks that it is a good thing. Out here in NJ, people tend to just laugh when I say that.
@ CG – NO! NO! NO! Sorry as much as I luv ya, Michiganders cannot try to claim to be an Ohioan. That would violate every norm and custom of the civilize world. lol 😉