gobble garbled
Monster in my sink by quinn.anya
It’s been a rough couple weeks. My pleasant and breezy 2009, apparently, was spent on deficit, and now I’m paying some backtaxes of bleah, oof, and ugh. I’ll try to keep the bitching brief. Seriously, as soon as some turkey and wine hit my system tomorrow, things will be squee, whee and yay, all over again.
The aftermath of my so-sick-of-thinking-about-it car accident has been ulcer-producing. I am dealing with “negative equity” (my totaled car is worth less than the amount I owe on my car loan). Fortunately, a family member has a car I can buy for cheep. So, lads and lasses, try not to wolf-whistle when you see me cruising down the street in my sweet ’93 Saturn station wagon! Oof.
Then there’s the daily dealing with the banks. Basically, a check bounced somewhere in Siberia, and the vibration of its wings caused a global chain reaction that has caused me to spend lots of time monitoring my bank account and feeling queasy.
Okay, and then there’s something I really can’t talk about, I wish I could but I’m not that kind of blog. It has to do with an ongoing re-denting of my feelings over something (read: someone.) Ouch ouch ouchity ouch.
When things have returned to normal tomorrow I’ll be my old grateful self. However, right now, reading the saccharine “I am so thankful for my children and grandma and puppies!!!!!1!” endlessness on Facebook has got me mental and only makes me want to write this:
Things I’m Not Thankful for in the Least
- Pearl Onions
- The Cult of Youth
- Gum in Stick Form
- My Dependence on a Fossil Fuel Run Vehicle
- The Losing Battle with the It’s/Its Ignorance Out There
- X-Treme Sports
- Any Kardashian
- Fickle Disregard
- Lactose Intolerance
- Palmetto Bugs
Signing off. Have a good Thanksgiving.
Update, Thanksgiving day: I was suffering from nothing that a good night’s sleep and stuffing for breakfast didn’t cure! Seriously, I am grateful for all that is good in my life.
Amen to it’s/its. And people’s fickle disregard for the correct usage of each. And I’m thankful for your blog. No one else manages to get as much mileage out of grammar on national holidays.
DOWN WITH PEARLY ONIONS!
I want to hear more about your turkey.
Time for a meeting of the committee!!
JEFFRO
I love the anti-Thanksgiving list!
I’d like to add an item to the list: sneaky neighborhood cats who take a dump in my fenced-in backyard. Effers. I am not thankful for that.
I thought you loved Pearl Onions. Wait a second, is this an alien Becky writing this. Have the aliens misinterpreted Becky’s love of Pearl Onions as a loathing for Pearl Onions. Somethings rotten in Denmark on this here post.
Ummm… If you’re not going to eat those pearl onions, can I have ’em? mmmm…