[warning: there’s a spoiler below concerning the ending of “The Quiet Man,” starring John Wayne and Maureen O’Hara. You should see this movie!]

This is the third year of that I have offered up some guilty pleasures! It’s dismaying that the shame closet is still packed full and that I can keep pulling out the cringers.

As per previous years, Uncomfortable Revelation Number Kajillion involves the guilty pleasure, the person/place/thing that you feel a little cringy about liking, that gives you a little shiver of I should be better than this. I would very much like to hear yours, too!

Jon and Kate Plus Eight
A reality show about a couple that has a set of twins and a set of sextuplets. I sit slack-jawed while an entire episode is devoted to the family packing for a trip. Or potty training. Or dentist day! As I said before, there’s something oatmealingly bland and soothing about it, but if I watch too much of the wholesomeness, I have to run out into the street and punch a nun in the face.

Dexter Holland of Offspring
He is the opposite of everything I (usually) find attractive. A blond frat boy-looking guy in a stupid SoCal second-wave testoterone “punk” meathead band. Horrible voice and prone to heinous hairstyles. But, I dunno. It’s so wrong it feels a tiny bit right.

Men’s magazines
I only read them when buy a big pile at the airport and paw through them while travelling. It’s like doing recon work! Trying to get into the mind of the other side! I think Esquire is great and I mourn the Dubious Achievement awards. But the mags are all embarrassing to be seen with, what with all the breasts everywhere — I can’t bring myself to buy Maxim, though I want to.

Terms of Endearment
Not that it’s a terrible movie, but I have seen it countless, COUNTLESS times. If it is on television, then rest assured I am watching it. I saw it when it came out (I was in college,) and afterwards my friend Michael had to hold me while I sobbed and sobbed in the lobby. Give my daughter the shot!

John Wayne (kind of)
He didn’t do a lot for me, except for two notable moments in his career:

• As Sean in the Quiet Man, the way he stares at Mary Kate (Maureen O’Hara) before they throw the money into the stove because it was a matter of principle, not money! (and oh my god M. O’Hara hubba hubba but that’s for a whole nother post.)
• And in the I Love Lucy episode, where he carries Lucy and Ethel into the hotel room, one in each arm. Oof. I like ’em big and strong. (and young and dumb but that’s for a whole nother nother post.)

Related hamblinks:

• guilty pleasures: the men
• guilty pleasures II
• guilty pleasures I