if you tolerate mediocre footwear, i don’t want to hear it.
Disturbing instant message conversation with my ex, who apparently has lost his mind while living overseas:
Him: If I wore birkenstock sandals would that make me a bad person?
Me: i will never speak to you again
Him: I heard that wearing them means you have bad tendencies
like you could kill puppies with no remorse
Me: that’s the tip of the iceberg
Him: mmm
Me: don’t tell me you already got them and are wearing them. DON’T.
Him: not yet
Me: arrrgh. hippie trash!!!
Him: they are unisex too
you secretly want a pair
Me: don’t you dare. i have foot-morals.
Him: I’m putting you on their mailing list
ssshhh
no one has to know
Me: stop it!
it was like living amongst the pod-people, going to berkeley.
Him: haha
how do the hippies stay so even tempered??
is it the weed?
that makes them think deeper right??
Me: ugh. why are you ruining my day?
Him: sorry
they just look comfortable
and I have a bunion
Him: the thing about the hippies was too much though
Me: i’d BARELY accept a teva, if there’s a doctor’s note. But no socks.
Him: oooh I bet they’d be cozy with socks
Me: omg i’m going to put you on IGNORE
Are normal flip flops equal to Birkenstocks? lol. I have a very worn pair of DMs that I wear nearly everyday! I tried to buy some shoes from eBay and they were too small 🙁 either that or my feet are bigger than I thought they were when I bought the shoes.
Nothing wrong with Birkenstocks – unless they’re worn with socks. Then they’re illegal! Seriously, the fashion police will hunt you down and put you in jail.