Tonight at the local gay bar, after the trivia game (our team won again!)

E: Becky! Hi! What can I get for you? A drink? A shot? What are you having?

Me: Aw, you’re sweet, but no thanks. I have to go soon.

E: How about a drink of water? A ride home?

Me: No, really, I’m fine. Thank you!

E: Coke? Meth? Pills — oh, how about some pills!

Me: Ha ha ha. Ha.

E: What can I get for you??

Me: Nothing!

E: Then how am I going to control you?