ur-scene!

What the bear ate/did not eat

Molly and I went camping in Sequoia National Park this past weekend. It was a great trip in a spectacular place; I’ve already waxed poetic about the park after I went with Danny P last year. You can also see the flickr set from this latest trip here, full of pretty pictures! Here, I’ll relate a short and true anecdote from last Friday evening. Keep in mind: we are two urban gals, especially me — I sometimes can’t tell sheep and goats apart.

In preparation for bedtime, Molly and Becky open the bear box (a metal latching cabinet to keep anything of edible or olfactory interest away from bears) and take out their toiletry kits.

Molly: There’s a bear. There’s a bear.
Becky: Ooooh-kay. Where?
Molly: Right behind you. We need to go this way.

Leaving the box open, they walk carefully to the other side of Becky’s car. Becky sees a small, fast, black streak going towards the open bear box. She is put in mind of a shark.

Molly: Maybe it’s a dog. Do you think it’s a dog?
Becky: Get in the car. Get. In. The. Car.

They get in the car. They watch as the bear briefly rifles through the box, then disappears.

Molly and Becky: Fuuuuuuuuck.

Pulses racing, they high-five, knowing that, if they made it through the weekend, they’ve got a good story.

12 Comments

  1. dp on July 13, 2008 at 10:04 pm

    I believe that a car isn’t necessarily a safe place to be. Isn’t that what we learned last year. I think they can rip those suckers open like a Tuna Can. You should have hid in your neighbor’s bear box.

    DP



  2. kerrio on July 14, 2008 at 7:09 am

    Ha! Great story! The closest I got to a bear when I was in Sequoia was bear poop! I took a picture. 🙂



  3. hambox on July 14, 2008 at 8:08 am

    A good point, DP, BUT we had nothing on us that smelled good, and we were poised to honk and/or drive the fuck away.

    It was actually kind of good to witness a bear. You could see how single minded they are about food (quite doglike).. it’s all they want, they sincerely don’t care about people.

    Unfortunately this yearling that stole our food has a reputation already, and will most likely be killed by the service as soon as they can find it. Depressing.

    And, Kerri, check out the pics on the flickr stream of our bear’s very specific tastes about what he liked (sugar, bread) and disliked (wine, avocados) http://www.flickr.com/photos/hambox/sets/72157606150944216/



  4. cloudy on July 14, 2008 at 8:25 am

    YEEEEE!!!! How exciting. I always hope I will see a bear. I am going camping in two weeks, so fingers crossed.



  5. Carol on July 14, 2008 at 9:20 am

    First time we camped in Florida I woke up to a bear ripping through our cooler. That’s right – no bear box. My little poodle in the tent growling didn’t help my fear factor. My husband said I looked like the girl from The Blair Witch Project holding the flashlight and crying “I want to go home”. Bears scary.



  6. regina on July 14, 2008 at 10:10 am

    egads! Now I’m positive I’ve never been a bear in a previous life… I heart wine and avocados way too much.

    Tim’s had bear encounters up in Alaska; I’ve never had one personally. The closest I’ve come was on a camping trip at Lake Cachuma… Nighttime, outside my tent, I heard a loud, buzzsaw noise outside for hours on end. I dared not go out to investigate, electing to lie quietly in my tent and try to determine what creature loomed. I eventually realized it was Kerri snoring in her tent nearby. :p



  7. Dagda on July 15, 2008 at 7:31 am

    I’m glad y’all are okay, but I’m sad to hear about poor rebel bear. I hope he’s okay.



  8. moya on July 15, 2008 at 7:27 pm

    i’m with dagda — the only time leanne ever saw a bear was while camping in sequoia. the poor things are so domesticated towards humans that they KNOW what a bear box is for (why else call it a bear box? open it and the bear comes out!). and then, when reported, they are hunted down and exiled (a euphemism) — all for just learning how to get on with the humans-in-the-wild.

    “leanne, there’s a bear behind you,” robert said. “shoo, bear, shoo!” says my brave wife.



  9. Uncle Shar on July 16, 2008 at 8:14 am

    Isn’t it something that the bear is fooled by our little near-hairless bodies standing in its way? Stop to consider that the only thing making it wait to dash over to grab its free toiletries is the lady who can’t tell sheep from goats. Maybe we just leave it to the bear to tell sheep from goats and the bear leaves it to us to tell Estee Lauder from Mary Kay.



  10. hey skinny on July 22, 2008 at 4:51 pm

    I wish you could have sicked Diablo Robot on the bear, in a playful way.



  11. andrew on July 23, 2008 at 10:52 am

    Oh dear, its been a week…
    Did the bear find a ride down to Ventura and eat you all up?



  12. lisa on August 4, 2008 at 8:57 pm

    Wow…that’s so sad, because that bear has pretty much sealed its fate.