Posts by hamblog
canine times
My good pals to the north, Tristy and Justin, swung through town last summer. So good. All my pent-up absurdities and perversions bubbled forth, and I jabbered at them, starved for NoCal bohemian repartee. A brief and sparkling snapshot: En route to dinner, we spy three white, fluffy lap dogs in a stroller. Me: Okay,…
Read Morestep by step instructions
1. Wash face, smile like a dork for the camera 2. Get your lights punched out Dab on dark brown eyeshadow and blue food coloring. Wet fingers and swoosh around. Add yellow food coloring for highlights! 3. Nip ‘n’ tuck Make the surgeon’s marks: cut, lipo, lift. Bloody up the hairline (where the stitches are,)…
Read Morecondemned to repeat it
Good old Studs Terkel. Owner of the best name I’ve ever heard, and the man dedicated to recording the oral history of our country. I always admired him, but, until today, I can’t say I ever read or heard anything produced by him. This American Life played some excerpts from his 1971 radio project “A…
Read Morepurge-a-tory: all the rest
First I got rid of my music. But nothing of the vinyls or CDs were jettisoned that I didn’t have digitized and backed up. I’m no masochist, I’m just out of space. But now I was faced with the aftermath of purging — a big pile of stuff from shoes to crafts to electronics to…
Read Morepurge-a-tory: music
I seem to remember my father doing this at various points of his life — his intellect rising up against his soft and comfortable heart. This would manifest itself by a big purge of his life — all fat would be stripped, both of body and mind. He would give away all his artifacts, his…
Read Moreapropos of nothing
6:57am: I realize, for the first time ever, that “Hat trick” and “Patrick” rhyme. Two minutes later, I remember with a start that I had a dream about Tom Green last night. I muse about how dated goatees look now. I wonder what, in the future, will stand out as the extra-awful trends of the…
Read Moregentle palette refresher
Ok! So! Let’s all have a little distracting fun, shall we? I, for one, need a little time off from the thinking and the feeling and the opening up a can of wormsing. Fortunately, I have delicious and I know how to use it, so let me bring you scoopfuls of good stuff from my…
Read Moreflamer in the worst way
Moya and Leanne and lots of other awesomely brave humans worked their asses off trying to retain the right of people of all non-“traditional” gender combinations to marry. And, well, Proposition 8 passed, sadly. And, well, M and L and all the others will keep going, keep fighting for legalization of gay marriage. And I’ll…
Read Moreout of the mouths of crackpots
As there tends to be with, well, pretty much everywhere, the place at which I work (a physics department) draws peripheral people, brooders, people with time on their hands. In the spirit of building a better mousetrap, these people like to challenge the currently-accepted laws of physics, offer alternate theories, do a little blue-sky thinkin’.…
Read Moremy lips are unsealed
After the Debacle of 2000, when that man, the worst leader in our history, illegally and improperly took office, I made a vow. I would never, ever say his name out loud. And I stuck to it. Never once have I uttered the name of the person who I never believed was, or should be,…
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